let me tell you a story…

About last weekend.

 I’ll tell you this story now as I don’t have a lot of exciting things to say, and even though this happened seven days ago, it makes me seem that I have an active and varied social life…which is totally the opposite of the truth.

 It began after work with a rum at an Irish sports bar around the corner from my new place of employment. I was complimented on my quick learning skills and buoyed by this information. Heightened by Bacardi and self-importance, I made my way to the Cross, an apartment on the 11th floor, and champagne-vodka-’orange drink’ punch. A shower and the first topless shimmy-shake of the night followed on, with my girly cohorts and I stooping to watch ‘Spiceworld’ for the nostalgia factor.

“Come on girls, lets do our own thing!”

Juju’s Japanese restaurant was not prepared for our presence. My man, my beloved uni kids and myself descended, already rowdy. Luckily Wes knew what to order and we let him speak for us. We were too busy drinking.

Raw beef, omelettes, sashimi. Rum. Warm sake by the bottle at $15 bucks a pop. I am told I got my tits out, which does not surprise me. I have no recollection of this.

Somewhere in there was a drunken stumble to Coles, the purchase of camera batteries and cheap 3-packs of underpants for the girls who were staying over.

At ten-thirty Juju’s becomes a karaoke wonderland. ‘Hey Jude’ gets the girls going and luckily it is so loud in the restaurant that no one can hear my terrible vocals. When we get too rowdy cabs are conjured, and there is a unanimous vote for Karaoke World on Elizabeth St. They give us a room for seven til four a.m. Fools.

Divinyls. Jimmy Eat World. U2. Guns’n'Roses. I destroy them all and hog the microphone, bellowing in my sake-and-cigarettes guttural moaning.

Four rolls around in no time, and at this stage I am so wasted I cannot see. Somehow we find a cab willing to  take us and I fall into it, promptly passing out in the backseat, awakening only to throw a twenty at the driver and stumble inside.

I awaken early with the most heinous hangover in the history of all humankind.

Wallet damage- $120.

Worth every penny.