Disproportionate!

Ive mentioned this before, this phenomenon I have noticed about my body in its present incarnation. (By ‘incarnation’ I mean: ten kilo’s heavier, and by ‘present’ I mean: for the last two years.) I have been aware of the situation for a while, but it is only when I am at Pole Class, clad in a pair of tiny shorts and a singlet and confronted by a wall-length mirror, that its true horror becomes apparent.

This is the phenomenon, of course, that I like to call Tiny Limbs, GIANT TORSO.

See, it begins at the feet. I have these very tiny feet, ankles and calves. Ridiculous looking really. My childhood nickname was ‘Chicken pie legs’ due to this very factor. My hands, wrists and arms are the same, though this has not furnished me any embarrassing nicknames, thankfully. Finally, crowning all this smallness, is my tiny, tiny head, resting, pin-like on my small neck.

But in the middle of all this smallness there is something wrong. Something large and gelatinous, something odd and disproportionate. It is my gigantic torso, looking huge and out of place when compared with the bizzare smallness of my radiating limbs. Big belly, big thighs, BIG TITS! (I’m not complaining too much about this last one…)

All this pole fitness will hopefully put an end to this strange phenomenon (“upper-body strength, core fitness, blah blah blah.”) Until then, beware of the odd proportions peeking out of my skimpy workout gear at a pole studio near you…